Did you get the code?

 “Did you get the code?”

I received this message via Facebook Messenger from a friend. I happened to have been corresponding with her only a day or two before, so unsurprisingly sent a “??” reply. When the reply came back “trying to login into my Facebook page my  phone and they ask me to find to someone help receive a code for me ? X” my antennae started to twitch and I sent a non-committal reply until I could investigate further.

Once I got home from my day's work with a client, I looked again. There was, indeed, a code on WhatsApp – which is one way that Facebook allows you to re-enter your account if you have, for example, forgotten your password. But the ‘use a friend to help you’ option was discontinued by Facebook (probably because of this sort of scam) a couple of years ago. And when a couple of nagging “send me the code” messages arrived, I knew it wasn’t my friend at the other end.

So what’s going on? Let’s use some fictional names for the way it works: say, Abigail, Brian and Chris. 

Brian receives a message like the one above from his work colleague Abigail. Only of course, it isn’t Abigail; she’s been conned in the way described above, and it isn’t her on the message thread. What has happened is that Abigail’s account has been accessed by a third party, her friend list is now visible to the scammer, and s/he has sent messages to some of those friends. They lack the relevant password to get in to Brian’s account, and ask for the reset code to be sent to Brian – but they need that code in order to log in. When Brian, believing he’s talking to Abigail, sends the code, it isn’t Abigail re-accessing her account; it’s the scammer logging into Brian’s account. 

At this point, the scammer has free rein with both Abigail’s and Brian’s accounts. If s/he convinces still more of their friends to part with the relevant code, more people are likely to be taken in; and, quite possibly, locked out of their own accounts. Facebook will likely realise that excessive (spam) activity is coming from that account, and block access – both to the scammer and to the real account holder.

At this point, one of Brian’s friends – Chris – realises that something is up. She has received a message from Brian, realises that it’s not his style, recognises errors in grammar and punctuation, and contacts him by other means (direct by phone, for instance) to establish what’s up. Of course, she receives the access code via WhatsApp, but doesn’t pass it on. Brian and Abigail can then be enlightened as to what has happened, and take steps to regain control of their accounts.

If you have been a victim of this, now comes the important bit: kicking the spammer out and re-establishing control. Facebook does recognise this sort of problem, and when you attempt to log in, should take you through a series of questions (and they won’t involve the ‘text a friend’ option) to prove your identity. A code to your mobile phone (which the scammer won’t have in their possession) to access your own account will be what is needed. 

Once you have got into the account, you need to check what login details are accepted. Generally, you’ll find the scammer has added a set of their own – and they may have deleted yours. When I helped my friend (the ‘Brian’ of this scenario), our scammer had in fact left ‘Brian’’s real mobile and email in place, simply adding their own email address, which was easily deleted, thus denying them access. After that, change your password.

The links for guidance regarding such situations this change frequently (which is why a Google search doesn’t often help much), but at the time of writing (October 2024), start at https://accountscenter.facebook.com/ while you’re logged in. 

Then check Password and Security. I recommend you also add Two-factor authentication, which means that you’ll be asked for the extra code from your phone and/or email if you log in from a device that is not your usual one. Don’t forget to update your account details if you change your email or mobile number.

Also look at Where you’re logged in. Don’t panic if there appear to be a lot of these; it will often simply mean that you’ve used a variety of wifi connections or phone networks to use Facebook. (For instance, mine presently shows a location in the north of the country, because we were there a few weeks ago staying with friends.) But something that’s overseas, or any area you've never been or when you haven’t left your immediate area for weeks, needs deleting.

How do you avoid this happening? Get suspicious. If people are on your friends list, presumably they are really friends (it’s a very bad idea to allow people to ‘friend’ you if you’ve never met them). Stop and think. Does this sound like their style? Would they greet or address you in this way? You’ve probably got other ways of contacting them. Use it. If it’s a real friend, there will be no problem, and you may well be able to stop yet another flood of spamming.

There are many, many scams around on Facebook (and elsewhere in social media). Some are thought to be ‘hackers’, when in fact they are cloning attempts – the perpetrators haven’t actually got past your password, but they have copied all publicly-available information from your account. Have a look here for a useful and detailed article (it saves me writing it all over again!).

The golden rule is: if in doubt, ask. Keep the antennae up. Stop and think. Search on Google. Ask a friendly passing geek (like me). But don’t ever respond in haste, or when you’re busy, or when you’re half-asleep. Stop, count to ten, step back, check, and then act accordingly.

Organise to minimise pain

My dear dad passed away last Monday. It wasn't unexpected; it wasn't even un-wished-for, in the saddest sense. He had started to show signs of dementia in around 2011, went into a care home in 2013, and in effect we had said goodbye to my father many years ago. For four years he had been increasingly vegetative, immobile and (mercifully) asleep.

He was a systematic, pragmatic, organised soul; no prizes for guessing where I got it from. As I have for some years handled all financial affairs under a Legal Power of Attorney for both of my parents, I have all their paperwork, some of which is in an old metal hanging-file box that lives under my desk. Dad loved figures and paperwork, and would spend happy hours reconciling his bank statements (he viewed it in the same way as Sudoku and crossword puzzles); he liked to know where things were and where he stood.

When, two days ago, I needed to go to the registrar, the check list suggested I take various documents. They were all in the metal box. NHS card: check. Birth certificate: check. Marriage certificate: check. The lovely registrar thanked me for making his job so easy.

As I caught my breath, waiting in the car to meet my husband after the registrar's visit and before clearing my father's room at the home, I took this photograph of the three civil registration certificates that spanned my father's life.

When I later messaged the photo across to my sister (who lives in Spain) she replied "I'd be impressed if they were the originals." I replied "They are."

My point about this post is that I have enough to deal with at the moment: my own emotions (grief + relief), caring for my bereaved mother, arranging the funeral, notifying friends and relations and authorities. For this task to be made so much easier due to my father's careful, clutter-free systems, and my own instinct for organisation, is a blessed relief.

This applies to everything we do. When life throws us a curve-ball - and we know how often that happens - you need all the resources you can get. If the basic processes of your life are running smoothly, you can focus your attention on dealing with a crisis.

Don't wait. Let me help you to sort those papers, clear that clutter, achieve that calm; so that whenever your own particular curve-ball hits, you'll have just a bit more fuel in the tank to come through.

Hidden treasure

A recent session with a client involved sorting through several large boxes and bags of paperwork - scooped up from car or house and dumped 'to sort later' over a period of some months (possibly years). One box yielded all the good things shown in this photograph: £25, €50, £22 in valid Tesco vouchers, and several usable first and second class stamps.

Not to mention two in-date gift vouchers for meals in favourite Norfolk restaurants, a probably-valid £20 gift card for Amazon, two more store gift cards and three Oyster cards which may have credit on them (all still to be checked) - and finally, a brand-new-in-packet 8GB SD card for her camera.

What treasures might you have buried under the useless receipts and old bank statements?? Get in touch today if you would welcome some help getting started...

What's it worth to you?

I'm a great user of charity shops - both to buy and to donate. Some of my best clothing bargains have come from an assortment of splendid places around my beloved Norwich; my paperback habit is easily indulged at minimum prices.

Of course, my clients' discarded-but-still-useful items (not to mention my own) also find their way there. Not only does the charity benefit - whether it be Oxfam, the British Heart Foundation, the Cats' Protection League or any of hundreds of others - but so too do buyers like myself, happy to source a book for £2 instead of £9, a skirt for £3 instead of £30. And best of all, when the time comes to dispose of those items - decluttering the bookshelves or the wardrobe, either so the present items are less crowded or (perish the thought) to make room for more - the cycle of generosity continues.

However, I thought I'd try a different approach today. I'd been sent an online voucher by a friend to try out a 'book resale' site. You scan the barcodes, they make an offer for your item (books, DVDs, video games, CDs), they pay the postage, you parcel the items up and print the despatch label, and hey presto - money in your bank account. There are several such organisations springing up around the place, complete with their smartphone apps.

I had a major declutter of the 'novels' bookshelves. (I do this every so often: I'd say that at least 50% of my paperbacks are treated as magazines, read once, enjoyed but not retained.) I gathered around 40 items - mostly paperbacks, a few DVDs - and started scanning.

My resale site, to start with, rejected most of them. ("We have plenty of this title already and can't buy it today" being the gist of the message.) That was fair enough - most of them were pretty commonplace authors (an awful lot of Philippa Gregory historical stuff, to start with). However, I became a bit disheartened when, finally, the first book came up as accepted, the offer was 10p. TEN PENCE? Now, I might have paid £3-£4 in a supermarket for it, or £1-£2 in a charity shop; but at this rate, to reach my minimum of £5 worth of books, I would be getting rid of an awful lot.

In the end, I found 8 items they'd accept, with a total of a little over £5. (The highest value item was less than £3.) My online voucher means I'll be credited with just over £10. That's all very well; but then I looked again.

Most of those charity-shop items had cost, as I mentioned, around £1-£2. If Oxfam, or Dr Barnado's, could sell my Philippa Gregory novel for £1.50, that's a big markup on the 10p that I'm being offered. At my calculation, the pile of rejects - some 30 paperbacks - might, if they'd bought them, made me around a fiver if I was lucky. But at an average of (say) £1.50 per book, my charity shop could turn those 30 paperbacks into some £45. And I'd sooner that a good cause received £45 than that I received the price of a supermarket lunch.

In the end, I decided to sell those eight items and take the money; but only on condition that the remaining 30 books go to the charity shop next week. And, to be honest, because I was being offered a 'free fiver' voucher for trying out the service in the first place.

I'm sure that such sites do work well for some folks - especially if their book collections are a little more commercial than my own. However, when it comes to donating for best effect, it's seldom hard to find a charity shop nearby (and if you're a tax payer, you can gift aid your donation too).

As for me... I'll be dropping off those 30 paperbacks when I'm in Norwich next week - and will possibly find two or three new items of reading matter while I'm there. Double win.

The clothes that won't let go

A conversation on Facebook recently echoed more than one similar discussion with clients. “I struggle to get rid of clothes… how do I decide?” In fact, I probably hear this question more than almost any other. ("How do I stop drowning in paperwork" is probably the one that comes closest.)

I might add that I’m very well qualified to talk about this. Not only am I pretty good at decluttering clothes, but I’m also very experienced at acquiring them. I can never resist a charity shop. I’ve been all sizes from a (fairly) small 12 to a (very) large 16 in my adult life. I’ve bought for purpose, for comfort, for distraction, for reward, and out of sheer blind panic. I’ve moved house and been subject to excruciating embarrassment at the number of items being hauled around by the long-suffering removal men. So I’ve been there and bought many t-shirts – in lots of different sizes.

There are countless reasons / excuses / validations for this challenge (and I'll likely write about more of them soon), but here's one of the most common. Does it ring bells for you, too?

I want to be able to wear it again. I’ve put on weight over the last six months / year / five years / ten years; I want to lose the weight, then I’ll be able to wear it again, so I must keep it.

I've lost count of the number of times I've heard this argument, but one particular episode sticks in my mind. The lady in question had been through a pretty terrible time with illness, divorce, breakdown – the whole nine yards. More to the point, she’d told me many times that she had no wish to take any part in the life that had been left behind with the ex-husband. So we looked at these clothes, which were very definitely part of that ‘old life’. I asked her to imagine herself at the size she was when she wore them, and then whether she’d wear those clothes again on reaching that size. There was a pause as she visualised it, and then she burst out “Of course I wouldn’t wear them again. I don’t even like the colours. Or the fabrics. Or the occasions they were for…” She’d become so fixated on the fact that she wanted to be a size 12 again (or whatever it was) that she’d equated the size of the clothes with their suitability. Suddenly she realised that their style would be completely redundant in her new life, and as such they were no use to her – no matter what her size. Needless to say, the next time I saw her, the gaps in her wardrobe had been filled with comfortable linens, cottons and softness, in colours that she loved – and which were nothing like the items she’d given away.

I’ve done the same thing. In an earlier life (which for me finished in around 2004, which was the last time I worked in a formal office environment), I loved my sharp suits. It’s a style that looks good on me – being curvy, a tailored look is flattering – and I did have some really lovely outfits that were perfect for a senior office management / PA type role. But was I ever going to wear them again?

These days, my decluttering ‘uniform’ has to be practical: usually jeans and a t-shirt or sweater. If I go to help a client with their computer, it’s a bit smarter, but still nowhere near formal. If I attend a business networking event, it’s definitely ‘smart casual’, not ‘intimidating power dressing’. My leisure life involves the local theatre, music-making, long walks, photography, relaxed meetings with friends. Sharp suits? No. So out they went. I now possess one black jacket and trousers (in case of funerals) and one rather fine red Jacques Vert skirt suit (charity shop bargain)… just in case. (It's beautiful and a wonderful colour, but think I’ve worn it once. There’s every possibility of it being decluttered in the next major cull.)

And what about size? As I say, I know all about this, too. On my last really drastic declutter, when I was about half a stone off my target weight (and with the help of a wonderful style consultant), I retained just a few items (about 8, I think) that were very nearly the right size but not quite; realistically attainable; and (most importantly) still matched my lifestyle. (I called it my ‘keep and hope’ pile.) To my delight, I did manage to fit into them all within a few months; but guess what? Even some of those went to charity or ebay in the end, as when I reached the size that matched the clothes, I realised that my style / shape / attitude had shifted still further – and they weren’t quite “me” any more. (I don't know about you, but my definition of "me" changes with the passage of time.)

Also consider: exactly how long have these clothes been in your wardrobe waiting for that magical weight loss? If it's a few weeks or months, that's fair enough. But it's very common for people to tell me that a dress or a pair of jeans was last worn, say, twenty or thirty years ago. Not only do fashions change (would you wear your 1980s shoulder-pads - or lycra - today?) but would you truthfully want to be the weight you were when you were (say) eighteen? Healthy, toned slimness is wonderful to see at any age; a desperate striving for "my younger weight" may well not be desirable. I know that my ideal weight at 54 is most definitely at least ten pounds or a stone heavier than it was when I was 24; any less and I start to look decidedly gaunt.

It’s also worth saying that while I have occasionally experienced an episode of “that’s a shame – that skirt would have looked nice on me now”, it’s no more than a mild regret. It's not a traumatic moment worthy of Sarah Bernhardt. In today’s world, we are drowning in choice of shapes, colours and fabrics, and finding an appropriate substitute for the occasion is seldom the cause of deep pain - more a cursory shrug and an “oh, well”. The decision lies between the pleasure of an uncluttered, functional, flattering, enjoyable wardrobe, and the moderate discomfort of realising that an item (out of, let's be honest, dozens of the things) might just have "come in useful" after all. You make the choice.

Your wardrobe needs to reflect your everyday style. We all have a few seldom-worn items: serious posh frocks, funeral formality, fancy dress party and so on. Fine.  But the other 90%? They need to suit the size you are now, or at least very close to it (come on, be honest); but (more importantly) the life you are living today.

Don’t buy for the life you want until you’re living it. Think tomorrow morning, or next week, or the ‘do’ you’re attending next month, or (at the most) next season. Beyond that, who knows what may have changed in your life?

(A brief aside on the above question: I’m presently reading How to be Free, a splendidly entertaining, anarchic and provocative book by the redoubtable Tom Hodgkinson, from which I could pinch soundbites by the dozen. I especially like “We all know the Jewish joke: How do you make God laugh? Tell him your plans.”)

What are your greatest challenges when you consider getting rid of clothes? Post a comment, ask a question, and I’ll help. Or if you’re ready to bring your wardrobe (or any other part of your life) under control, and create it for today, rather than for the past or the future, get in touch - and we’ll get cracking!

What to do, who should do it

One of the greatest challenges faced by a large number of my clients is paperwork. We know the theories: action, file, junk. Separate and action. But how many of us actually want to do this, and does the thought of the work involved make your blood run cold?

It's like any other vital life activity. If it has to be done, you have three choices: (a) do it yourself or learn how to do so, (b) pay somebody else to do it or (c) muddle along without anybody doing it at all. The same applies to paperwork as to ironing, cleaning, gardening and other areas of maintaining a comfortable life.

If you choose option (c), the consequences can range from the inconvenient to the illegal. Ignoring the letters from HMRC will result in stress, fear, panic and possibly financial loss if you're fined for failing to submit your return; and failing to tax and insure your car is definitely a bad idea.. Ignoring the needs of your garden isn't against the law, but might make you unpopular with the neighbours, and it's not easy living cheek-by-jowl with a jungle. Ignoring the laundry could cost you a fortune in new clothes.

The point is, we are not all book-keepers, gardeners, cleaners or whatever - but we expect ourselves to be. Some of those skills will cause you no difficulty at all; others might send you screaming for the hills. The trick is to identify how vital (or not) those unwanted responsibilities are, which of them fall naturally and without pain into your own scope of interest and skill, and whether the peace of mind and time bought by outsourcing them is worth it.

I worked with a client some years ago whose hatred of paperwork borders on the pathological. Her in-tray was a dumping ground for tomorrow, and tomorrow never came. She's brilliant at her vocational job, a wonderful mother, a delightful friend and a superlative hostess; but she was constantly distressed by her hatred of and inefficiency with dealing with paper - whether it was for business or household. We did some major decluttering of her desk, and she was delighted when it was all brought under control (and she ended up with a very small pile of 'action' items on the desk); but when I next visited, that 'action' pile had grown, and nothing had been actioned.

So she got help. Not from me - I'm a troubleshooter rather than a long-term PA - but from a lovely local girl who loves paperwork. She took huge pride in taking my client in hand, taking on all the hated admin jobs, and relieving her of the burden of stress, allowing her to get on with the business and the mothering and the entertaining that she was best at.

Now, you may say "that's all very well, she had a business, she could afford it" - which is true. However, that doesn't change the fact that we all have to face up to options (a), (b) and (c) at some point. Moreover, you don't need a full-time secretary to keep basic household paperwork under control; an hour or two each fortnight might suffice. If (like me) you have no interest, ability or motivation for gardening, a few hours each month costs (on average over a year) around the same as a night out at the cinema plus dinner and drinks. For peace of mind, I'd sooner have the gardener than the night out.

And then there's option (a). Learning to do it yourself may well not be such a huge issue after all. I've set up systems for clients using (for example) spreadsheets which they have then continued very ably to populate without help from me or anybody else. An outside pair of eyes on a new process, a little computer training, some shortcuts and ideas, and who knows? - you might even enjoy it. There's nothing worse than struggling with a computer programme because you don't know how to use it to its fullest advantage. You wouldn't expect to drive a car without lessons, would you? Why do we expect to use computers without help?

Take a bit of time to review those jobs that are causing you grief.

• Does it have to be done? Will the world end, or at least will your health or finances suffer, if you simply don't do it? If the answer is no, then save yourself the aggravation and remove it from your life. You have a finite number of years and days and minutes on this earth; use them wisely.
• If it has to be done, due to financial or health consequences if you don't, can you learn to do it yourself? Don't muddle along and get discouraged; ask an expert (even if it's simply in a book). Ask for recommendations among friends, on social media or elsewhere. "I need to learn to do x. Can anyone recommend a book / a trainer / a consultant who could help me?" One of the biggest benefits of social media, for all its irritations, is the potential for sharing and support. Use it.
• And if you decide that it must happen but that you really can't, under any circumstances, bear doing it yourself, find out what the real costs are - and what you're able / willing to pay. If the cost of a couple of bottles of wine will buy you an hour of a cleaner's time, how would that feel? If you sacrificed that evening out I mentioned in exchange for a few hours' gardening, which would you prefer? And in the time you might reclaim by outsourcing, you may be able to invest some of it in people or activities that are more precious to you.

Life's too short to spend being stressed - or distressed - by things you don't do because you really hate doing them, or things that you think you can't do because nobody's ever shown you the easy way. 

• Get clear in your head the difference between can't, won't and don't know how
• Be honest about whether the activity is vital, important or optional
• Once you've worked out those two elements, you can make decisions about whether you do it, outsource it or leave it

And don't forget to ask for help! If you're ready to take action on streamlining your life, your surroundings and your workload, contact me today for support, motivation and practical help.

What are you waiting for?

So happy to help

It's a real delight when a client sends feedback like this. And it's a pleasure and a privilege when what is needed and what I can offer coincide so well.

"Thanks for your email and the attachments. You were worth every single penny.

It was a real honour and quite amazing to have you going through my Stuff with me yesterday, and I noticed I got quicker at deciding what to hurl or keep as we went along. Thank you also for cooking lunch and talking to me about the Cooking and Nurturing Food Thing! I had clearly been trying to go about things the wrong way round, both with clutter/storage and my general approach to the diet and life I deserve - which was a great learning curve for me.

After you left, I went straight out and bought salad + stir-fry vegetables and had a bit of a cook-up for lunch today, eating mindfully. Soooo satisfying! It was all very very helpful - physically, mentally and emotionally - and yes, I slept an untroubled long sleep after a gorgeous warm shower. I'm very much calmer (and less agitated, considering high mood-swing) today. Top stuff, Cassie!

One of the added bonuses was that I was so pleased to wake up today, to a lovely bedroom again, with just little jobs here and there that I know I can manage in minutes or half-hours at a time; every day a little something. I did clear the bedside tables last night and was actually keen to get up and go this morning.

Thanks so much for helping me to be a lot less household-crazy ... and you can quote me on any of this!"

Peak Stuff

You might have picked up on this phrase recently. It's been a busy old Twitter hashtag (#peakstuff) and it originated with a discussion with a senior member of the IKEA team. This article summarises the situation pretty neatly (and saves me writing it again). It was written by the inspirational Jen from Wiltshire, who runs a blog called My Make Do and Mend Life.

As a professional organiser, one of the main services I'm called upon to provide is the assistance with decluttering. (The organising of what is kept is usually a separate issue. Some clients don't have, in fact, enormous amounts to dispose of, believe it or not; it's their arrangement and accessibility of 'needful stuff' that is challenging.)

However, it's also common to find myself supporting clients through the disposal of excess. There are the clothes that either no longer fit or that are simply never worn due to a change in lifestyle. There is paperwork (one of the greatest problems for many of us), most of which is accessible online, and outdated information is usually more dangerous than no information at all. There are overstocks of food (BOGOF deals, anyone?) to the extent that it goes to waste as it goes out of date before it can possibly be eaten. And so on. And, of course, all this excess 'stuff' has to live somewhere, and most people don't have unlimited space or storage.

Jen's key point in her article is this:

"We are still being cajoled by the advertising companies that our lives will be better, and happier, and easier, if we had the latest shiny new thing. But maybe, just maybe, we’re all finally starting to cotton to the fact that this is actually just advertising bullsh*t designed to keep us spending, and that our lives are not any better, happier or easier, even after buying a whole heap of latest shiny new things. Maybe the message is sinking home that current levels of consumption are unsustainable, and our planet does not in fact have finite supplies of everything we need."

Exactly so. Less stuff means:

• more space
• more money to spend on experiences rather than things
• less dust
• less pressure to conform
• more clarity
• less confusion
• more efficiency

If you're wondering, there are areas in which I'm as much at fault as the next man, or woman. I'm still a bit of a clothes addict - there's nothing like succeeding in losing nearly three stone to seduce one into buying unnecessary items just because it's hard to believe that things look good. However, I have about 35% of the quantity of clothes that I had two years ago (largely because I had a wardrobe spanning three sizes). I hate to think of the amount of money that was wasted on that one. My husband's equivalent is the books: far more volumes than he could ever, conceivably, read in a lifetime.

***

So what do you do with the #peakstuff when you decide it's time for it to go? To start with, don't panic about landfill. Almost nothing that I, or my clients, dispose of goes there. Recycle, give to charity, Freegle (like ebay but without money), give away, car boot sale, Gumtree, Ebay... so many places. I've created a page of suggestions here that you might find helpful.

And if you need support - physical, motivational, or just ideas and suggestions - contact me, or one of my colleagues from APDO, and we'll be delighted to help.

Space for change

A few weeks ago, I was honoured and delighted to have been credited, in some small part, with assisting a client of mine to move on to a new phase of her life. Our decluttering work on her house, a couple of years ago, helped her to find the emotional freedom to be open to a new relationship and home. You can read about that here.

I've today read a wonderful tale with even more dramatic results. This isn't a client, but a professional colleague in an adjacent profession to my own. The lovely Sarah Morgan specialises in wardrobe decluttering and helping people to identify the right colours and styles for them. She gave me a magnificent amount of assistance a few months back, when (having achieved a two-stone weight loss, and with a house move imminent) I needed a professional eye cast over my own utterly random wardrobe.

Sarah's story today demonstrates the extraordinary power of mindset and the 'letting go' of that which no longer serves us. You can read her article here. Warning: beware the green-eyed monster... ;)

Not every decluttering session will bring such dramatic results (a move to the Caribbean being a pretty extreme example!). Yet the changes that can be brought about by release from the detritus of the past will all, in their own ways, have a profound impact on our lives.

The smallest changes can make such a positive difference.

More than just a tidy house

I was so touched to receive a wonderful message yesterday. I'd spent several sessions (across some months) with this lovely lady, a couple of years ago, decluttering her house in all corners, and she was delighted with the domestic control that it helped her to regain.

However, it's not just a tidy house, and the attendant sense of calm, that can result from decluttering; the ripples can reach much wider.

"I'm so thankful we did the de-clutter previously! It was part of the preparation, making space for the new. Many thanks for your part in the preparations. Little did you know how much I needed that de-cluttering to make emotional and spiritual space for a relationship."

This isn't the first time  that I've been privileged to have witnessed a client achieving emotional clarity as a result of physical decluttering. I am honoured to have been a part of it.

Paperwork advice: a word to the wise

I'm so delighted to have been invited to contribute to Judy Heminsley's excellent resource for homeworkers, Work From Home Wisdom. Click here to see my article on one of the most common challenges I encounter when helping clients to declutter: paperwork.

So what's normal?

Do the default settings on your computer work for you?

If you find that every time you start a new document in (say) Microsoft Word that you're driven nuts by the need to change the font, its size, the margin settings or whatever, you need to change what your computer sees as 'normal'. Often the manufacturer's settings won't be to your taste, or practical needs.

If what you get for each new document is Times Roman - or in more recent versions, Calibri - and you don't like that choice - change it. Change your computer's view of the world with a few simple clicks!

Check out this very straightforward set of guidelines - a set for each of several versions of the software - and reduce your time-wastage and frustration.

https://support.microsoft.com/en-us/kb/291291

Oh, and if you would prefer help with learning about this stuff from a real, live person... just give me a shout.

Preloved : the value of imagination

This is rather a long post. However, if you enjoy hearing of recycling at its best, wonderful creativity and the gifts of love, please take the time to read the story of Fairfax and Olaf, the wooden cats.

We moved house a few weeks ago (my husband, an Anglican parish priest, took up a post in a new benefice). Our new house is smaller than the previous one - which isn't to say it's small, just that the previous one was very large! As a result, a great deal of the inevitable decluttering took place, both before and after the move. Yes, professional organisers do need to take a dose of their own medicine sometimes.

Many items went to charity shops, of course, and made far more money for the charities than I would have made, which pleased me very much. However, a few items were rather special, and I wanted them to have the chance to go to some known 'good home'; so I posted a few photographs on Facebook, offering my friends to chance to claim anything that took their fancy.

One of these was a pair of wooden cats. I have no recollection of where they came from, but I was always rather fond of them; they sat on a high shelf in our living room for many years. The new house simply had nowhere appropriate for them to live, and it was time for them to move on.

I was delighted when they were claimed by a friend as a special gift for her young stepsons - one of whom had coveted her existing wooden cats for some time. When she emailed me to let me know they'd arrived, she intrigued me by telling me the following:

I don't believe in presents for kids that don't inspire the imagination - none of your main stream stuff here.  My poor children have been brought up on a diet of home made stories and toys and are hopefully better (if weirder) people for it. My two young stepsons now receive the same treatment and your two lovely cats inspired a story (I will send it to you when it is complete) which I will package with the cats at Christmas. Obviously the cats needed names for this purpose and Fairfax and Olaf seemed to fit the bill.

I was entranced by this wonderfully imaginative and personal approach, delighted that my preloved wooden cats would become the subjects of a story, and excited to know more. So when today I received a copy of 'the story so far' (my friend plans to continue writing about them) I was so pleased when she agreed that I could share it - in the form of a letter from Santa to the two boys. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

I wanted to tell you how successful your cats were on Christmas day, so much so we have not heard of anything else.  And as promised here is the letter from Santa telling the story of how they came to be in their possession. 

Hello Dylan and Tommy

I have heard quite a few stories about you both over the past year. Dylan, I know you have been working hard at school and you have been trying to remember not to shout. It is hard when you want to tell someone something though isn't it? Tommy, I know you have started big school now and you are learning very quickly. I also know that you try to get ready on time but it is hard when it's cold outside and your bed is warm. Mrs Claus likes to stay in bed too. Did you know that Santa and Mrs Claus have a big bed shaped just like the sleigh I bring all your toys on, on Christmas eve? Maybe one year I will harness the reindeer up to it and give Mrs Claus a ride through the skies whilst she is asleep...

Anyway, because you have both been such good boys this year, the magic at the North Pole has whispered to me you should have this special present. It is not new from a shop but something precious that has been around for a long time. It has lived in other people's houses and taken care of them in a quiet and magical way.

And here am I saying it when really there are two things in this box. It isn't one each but for you both to share. Maybe you could be really sensible and work out a way to look after them together?
You also need to decide a quiet place to keep them somewhere near to you. They need to be quiet for their magic not to disappear and also for them to help you. Perhaps your secret shelves would be a good place to keep them, what do you think?

As they get used to being in your house and around you, you will notice the effect their magic has in your lives. You will feel happier and have more fun . Anything you find difficult will become easier and you will learn more quickly.

But. You need to help them keep their magic. I have already told you they need to be quiet but also you need to carry on being good boys and continue to work hard. Try your best always, tell the truth and be kind to others. Be especially kind to animals - you will find out why when you see what is inside the box...

[The next instalment was inside the box with the cats]

Now you know what is in the box, there are a few more things I need to tell you about Fairfax and Olaf. Obviously they don't need feeding or watering but they do need polishing. You can ask Daddy or Amanda to help you (I don't suggest you ask Tom and Ryan as they can't keep their room tidy). You will also notice Olaf has a little splinter of wood missing from his ear. All magic cat pairs have a little something like this and it is a sign to other magical creatures that you two are to be kept safe.

Remember that being chosen to take care of Fairfax and Olaf means you are now their Guardians. It is a big responsibility so take it seriously and you will be rewarded.  If ever you need any advice then please ask Daddy or Amanda. They too have a pair of magical cats entrusted to them so they will be able to help you. 

Lots of love from Santa xx

Think before you share

I tend to leave politics out of my social media activities. However, some extremist groups get me seriously worried, and especially when they are using emotional manipulation and innocence to further their own aims.

I've been relieved in the last couple of days to see a gradual increase in links to articles highlighting what is really behind the group Britain First, and especially to their huge surge of 'likes' on Facebook. I won't bother to explain the situation here: at least three other sites have already saved me the trouble. Please take a few minutes to read them and understand.

Liverpool Echo

Costa Connected

Another Angry Voice

Now, while I strongly disagree with what Britain First stands for, I am (unlike them) not saying that you do not have the right to your own opinions. If their ethics and policies align with your own, liking and sharing their posts is entirely your right. (If you're on my Facebook friends lists, you'd soon be deleted, but that's another story.) As the writer of the Costa Connected article sensibly puts it:

Please do not misunderstand me, everyone’s political views are their own, and I enjoy friendship and dialogue with many people whose opinions on many matters I am fundamentally opposed to, or have little interest in. Unlike Britain First I embrace and celebrate diversity and difference, and intelligent discussion of different points of view – heaven knows the world is in a mess right now and I have no grand opinions on the best way to fix it, talking about ideas with people whose ideas challenge and push at your own is a good way of developing solutions.

I am writing this while being fortunate enough to be spending a break in a beautiful part of Spain (at a wonderful health resort called Obsidian). I have so far met a huge variety of people, all colours, several nationalities (Polish, Finnish, Spanish, Portuguese, Australian to name but a few) and, I would imagine, many faiths, backgrounds and belief systems. The diversity of this place is one of things that makes it joyful for me. We all learn from each other.

***

Some of the posts that Britain First have been using for manipulative purposes ("if you don't like this post it means you don't appreciate what our war heroes did for us") are, in themselves, perfectly reasonable and laudable sentiments. Take, for instance, yesterday's news about the splendid war veteran who basically did a bunk from his care home and travelled to France alone, and safely, at attend the D-day celebrations in France. Britain First has published a photograph of Bernard Jordan, urging you to 'like' and show your respect.

Now, I'd fully agree that this excellent old boy deserves appreciation and publicity for all sorts of reasons. However, gleaning 'likes' for a political group that advocates the kind of Nazi-style cleansing and fascist beliefs that Bernard Jordan and millions of others went to war to defeat somehow doesn't make a lot of sense.

Having read the articles above, you may well decide that you want nothing to do with Britain First (or any similar organisations). If so, here are the geeky, practical suggestions.

Want to share these photos anyway?  Just download them from Facebook. Right-click on the image you want to save, choose Save Image As, and drop it into somewhere on your own computer that you'll find it again. Then add it to a post of your own in the normal way. Whether it's a picture of a wandering war veteran, a poppy for Remembrance, one of the Royals, our beautiful countryside or whatever: you can share these images to your heart's content without promoting the policies of the original poster. Like this.

Want to block all postings from Britain First? When you next see a posting, click on the drop-down arrow top right (of the posting, that is, not of the whole screen); there's an option to 'block Britain First'. (You can do this with any page, group or individual who really annoys you for whatever reason!)

***

As I said earlier, this is not about removing freedom of choice - quite the reverse. It's about being aware of what underlies this use of social media. Again quoting the Costa Connected article:

On these pages we frequently take the time out to celebrate the genuinely positive things which come from social media, such as the force for good that was Stephen Sutton and the unanticipated impact of the no-make-up-selfie movement. Every now and then, however, we have to comment on the darker side, the way that the democratisation of publishing and communication is exploited in the service of what can only be described as evil.

Facebook (together with other social media) is powerful. It's fun, it's informative, it's useful, it's entertaining, it makes communication easy between friends, and it can be a great force for good. But any powerful force can operate for good or ill, and in the world of the easy click-and-share, the darker side can spread through innocence and ignorance far faster than through activism.

Don't wanna play

OK, so here's the latest one doing the rounds on Facebook. The above photo is being shared in a desperate attempt, it seems, to persuade people NOT to send 'game requests'.

No, it's not a hoax, or spam; but sharing this is highly unlikely to make the difference you desire. You can do a couple of simple things that will be much more effective.

First, don't assume that your friends are inviting you individually to share these games and will therefore be horribly offended if you don't. For the most part, they will be going out as a block invite to all friends - and as such, a refusal will not (in this case) offend, as the inviter is unlikely to even notice.

Secondly, like most other things on Facebook, you can 'block' them. At first this may seem tiresome. However, take it from me: I block almost every invitation I receive, with the result that I now receive virtually no invitations at all. Farmville, Bejewelled Blitz, Candy Crush Saga... in fact, when I look at the list, I can see that I've been a boring old fart about quite a lot of them (about 80, at the last count). Most of them come up time and time again, so once you've blocked it - you don't see it again. Easy.

So how to block? Two ways.

First, when you receive an invitation, don't simply dismiss it.

• Click on the Games link under Apps (left hand toolbar)
• Click on Requests (ditto)
• Click on the drop-down arrow top right of the offending request
• You're given a choice to block all invites from that person, or to block the app itself
• Choose and click

Easy.

Secondly: take the initiative.

• Click on the small 'cog' icon at the top right of the page
• Click on Settings
• Click on Blocking (on the left)
• Scroll down to Block Apps
• Type the name of the app you want to block
• Press the Enter key
• Your chosen blocked app will appear in (guess what) your list of blocked apps

Job done.

So what's wrong with the image above? Well, nothing really; except that in many cases your friends won't even be particularly aware that you're being included in their mass mailings, and as such it's unlikely to affect their decision-making processes (!).

Oh, and one more thing. Click on the photo itself when you see it shared on Facebook, and you'll see it's been 'shared' over 100,000 times. Maybe I'm being cynical, but that's an awful lot of high-ranking activity for the page that first published it. And we know about like-whores, don't we? Don't we?!!

Enough already

OK, so I'm a boring old... person. But I'm getting a mite tired of seeing "I got... [insert Muppet character, place to live, musicals]" on my timeline.

I laughed at the first few. Joined in with one or two. Giggled at a few friends' results (my husband getting Oklahoma - which he hates - as his musical was worth a smile).

But this morning, I lost patience. Of the first ten postings on my timeline, FIVE were the results of one or other of these quizzes. Yup, half my news for the day. And they all came from a site called Buzzfeed.

It's not a virus ("going viral" being, of course, something totally different). Yes, it's making great use of other people's material, and yes, what it posts is often pretty trite, but that's not a crime. It is a highly successful corporate initiative, making, it would appear, serious amounts of money for the folks behind it (as does Facebook), and good on them for that. It's no more (or less) offensive in the 'information' it provides than a lightweight magazine or freebie newspaper. This article gives a bit more detail.

However, my main problem is that it's drowning my timeline.

I like Facebook. But I like it for knowing what my friends (and yes, they are real friends) are genuinely doing and thinking. I like it to keep me informed about local events and about what old colleagues are doing now and about triumphs and challenges. I like it for learning and inspiring and understanding and introducing. And I'd prefer my newsfeed not to be flooded with results of quizzes that are, broadly speaking, entirely pointless. I'd sooner know about your new family member, whether feline, canine or human, than which animal your personality type (might) identify you with.

So: I've hidden the Buzzfeed postings. You can do this very easily with any application (or person): click on the down arrow top right of any posting, and you'll get a set of options. They vary depending on whether it's posted by a page, an application or a person, but the gist is the same: you can block. In this particular case, I was able to choose "Hide all posts from Buzzfeed".

NB: If I ever feel that I'm seriously missing out on vital 'buzz' and want to welcome the posts back, it's easy. Hover over the pencil icon next to the Newsfeed link on the left of the page, choose Edit, and find the item you've 'banned', and click on the x to remove it from the list.

Finally: you can do this with any page, person or app. Let's say that you happen to be one of my friends on Facebook and you get tired of seeing what I post ("not another 'photo of the day', please..."), but you don't want to actually unfriend me: the same procedures apply. Just hide my posts from your timeline, but you can always drop by my profile if you are curious about whether I'm still being annoying at a later date.

Oh, and if you're interested: my musical was A Chorus Line. You know, the one with a bolshy character called Cassie who muscles in where she's not wanted? That one.

Skype voicemail scam

Boring, boring, boring. No, not Skype. Skype is good, and useful, and free, and fabulous when you want to talk to your sister in Spain for an hour without worrying about the cost. What's boring is the latest scam going around.

Have you received an email recently telling you that you've got a Skype voicemail - and to 'open the attached file' to listen to it?

This is an automated email, please don’t reply.

Voice Message Notification

You received a new message from Skype voicemail service.

Message Details: Time of Call: Wed, 27 Nov 2013 16:59:10 +0200

Length of Call: 37sec

Listen to the message in the attached file.

Take a closer look. The email address it's coming from, for a start. Mine was sent by izgsikige@business.telecomitalia.it. Looks like an authentic Skype Customer services address, doesn't it? Not.

Don't even go there. Firstly, it's a zip file (clue: anything can be hidden in a zip file, which includes malware, so always view these with extreme caution to start with).

Secondly, Skype voicemail messages are only ever delivered through Skype itself; if you get a notification that you've a voicemail, it will be in the form of an alert to log on to your Skype account and listen to it there. If you want to check, do just that: log on to your Skype account in the usual way. If there's a legit voicemail for you, it will be waiting for you there. But there won't be: Skype wouldn't be sending it as an attachment.

Actually, almost any message that tells you to 'open the attached file' for further information has the potential to be dodgy. The bank? Ebay? PayPal? Facebook? All these will direct you to log on to your own private account, and any genuine requests or messages will be found there.

Oh, and what's that you say? You don't even have a voicemail facility set up on your Skype account? Well, there's a surprise.

Delete, delete, delete.

And tell your friends to do the same.

Fake 'burglary' accusation

I was rather startled this morning to receive the following email in my capacity as President of apdo-uk - the Association that supports, promotes and develops our industry of professional organising and decluttering.

Name: Kathie
Email address: kathiekearns@gmail.com
Organisation: Kathie

Hello, I am writing in an unusual case ... Some time ago, I used your services, and one of your employees face was familiar to me. At dinner with my wife, it turned out that he was a burglar, who 5 years ago broke into our home!!! This is ridiculous!!! How you can hire criminals? I found at least 3 bad entries for him at website for background check!! I am sure there are more!!! Please do something about it, things like that are ridiculous!!!

I didn't have serious concerns about it, for several reasons. Firstly, apdo-uk is not an employer at all, but an Association, and we have clear disclaimers all over our site: it's the clients' responsibility to check the appropriateness and credentials of any of our members they wish to work with. Secondly, the email refers to a man, and out of 105 current members just five of them are men. They picked an organisation with entirely the wrong demographic for this message.

And then, of course, there's the overall style of the email. Poor grammar, excessive exclamation marks... the hallmark of a spammer.

I replied briefly in any case, pointing out the above, and also that I'd need explicit details before investigating any of our members further. However, a quick trawl on Google afterwards proved my suspicions. The (probably fictitious) Kathie Kearns has sent many such emails, especially to folks in the hospitality industry, as I found on this online noticeboard. [This particular gmail address appears also on several lists of noted spammers.]

The question was: why? The email I received contained no links nor attachments. If it was spam in the real sense, one of those would surely have been present. However, looking at the reports on the above forum from other folks that have been spammed, this idiot proves to be exceptionally bad at their job: in my email, they've missed out the link (to a site called Everifies, ostensibly providing online checks on businesses). I don't suggest clicking on it - although according to the forum, the website has now been taken down in any case.

I'm posting this to flag up the situation in the hope that my article will also appear in Google searches for key phrases or for this email address, if anybody else, like me, is suspicious. However, as one poster on the forum put it, "with 40 branches around the country it had me going for a minute". It would be very easy for a member of a large corporation to take the accusation seriously, and to follow a link to a site that may well have had malware.

Honestly. Even the quality of spammers is deteriorating!

Private by default?

I know that there's a lot of banging on about privacy, or the lack thereof, on Facebook. However, there's one small thing that may have slipped your notice.

Your original 'default setting' was probably to publish your posts to 'friends only', which is sensible. (You'll find the 'default setting' under the 'cog' icon, along to the right of your name on the upper toolbar, under Privacy & Settings.) However: do you realise that if you change the privacy of an individual post, you then change that setting for the next time you use it?

Let's say that you've been happily publishing updates to 'friends', and then along comes one that you want to share to a wider audience - perhaps you want to advertise an event you're involved in and don't mind who sees it. More likely, you've 'shared' a public post - one of those 'thoughts for the day', charity appeals or attractive or funny images - which comes as 'public' to start with. When you share it, you keep that public status - and change your own default status to public, too.

It's very easy to tell what the status is that you're using. Look at your last post, and look at the icon at the right-hand end of the post. Here are a couple of mine.

I've got a cold right now (a particularly nasty one). Hence my silly post. It's shared with friends: that's the little two-person icon on the right, after the date and location of the posting. (Not that there's anything very security-sensitive about the fact that I'm feeling like death warmed up at the moment, but it's only really meant as a flippant remark for those on my friends list.)

This one's a bit different. It's a sharing of a video that I found funny. I have no problem at all with the post being seen by friends, friends-of-friends, or total strangers. So the privacy setting after the date is the little globe: public.

The point here is that after I'd shared, to a public audience, the silly Cockatiel video, my default setting for posts became public. So when I published my next update I needed to remember to change it back to Friends. Like this.

Why on earth you'd want to publish a post as 'only me' - in other words, nobody else could see it - I really can't imagine. However, the other settings all have their uses. 'Custom' gives you the choice to include or exclude specific people, and Public and Friends are what they say.

Have a check back on your Timeline and see what is posted as Public and what is shared with Friends. You can also view your Timeline as a non-friend would see it. Go back to the Privacy settings mentioned earlier, choose Timeline and Tagging Settings, and click on View As under 'Who can see things on my timeline?' It will display as a non-friend would see it. This gives you the chance to change anything that's not as it should be.

Going forward, it's easy enough to control as long as you keep your wits about you: every time you post, look for the little icon and make sure it says what you want it to say.

Special offer: Back to school

Nearly the end of August, my goodness. At least this year we've had something approximating a real summer! I hope you've enjoyed it as much as I have.

Now we're all in that final week or so of 'back to school' mode. If you have children returning to school or college, you might be relishing the thought of regaining a bit of time and space for you! If it's back to your 'normal' (whatever 'normal' might be) routine after time away - or simply time out - you might (as I did) have had a bit of time to think about any changes you'd like to make to that life. There's nothing like a pause, or a different environment, to give you a change of perspective.

Are you wondering whether you could get your life into better working order? Looking at clutter that has accumulated and unable to know where to start, or where to dispose of it? Thinking (don't shoot me) about the fact that the Next Big Thing is Christmas, and all the organisation that goes with that?

You might be wary of spending a whole day on this project. It might be hard to find enough time - or enough money. However, you'd be amazed at how much can be achieved in a short space of time. (For a few ideas, have a look at this post from last year.)

As a 'back-to-school' incentive, I'm rerunning a successful promotion from this time last year: a two hour session at a special price, allowing you the opportunity to either target one specific matter and get some ideas and motivation, or to use it as an introduction to the huge difference that can be made to your life by a slightly longer-term approach.

Two hours of consultancy time is usually charged at £80. From now until the end of September 2013, I'm offering this at a very special £50. (See 'Practicalities' below.)

What could I help you with in two hours?

• We could go through your house or office and find opportunities to improve storage, shelving, furniture placing, sourcing appropriate items online where necessary and creating your shopping list if needed.
• We could actually declutter that cupboard, that set of drawers, that wardrobe you can't face - yes, it really could be possible in that time.
• We could spend time at your computer, finding easy ways to achieve regular tasks, or helping you find faster, more elegant ways to do things.
• We could look at ways in which you might streamline your diary and contacts.
• We could work together on your use of social media, showing you how to control Twitter and Facebook, rather than letting it control you.

These are just a few ideas. What do you think? Go on, give it a try... contact me today, and let me know how I can help you.

A few practicalities:

• This offer is open to work booked by 30th September, and performed by 31st October, 2013.
• Travel expenses will be charged at 45p per mile.
• For a two-hour session, it's not really practical for me to travel further than around 15 miles in each direction! So this offer is limited to those roughly within that area (have a look here for my location in the heart of Norfolk).
• Usual terms & conditions and payment conditions apply.
• This offer cannot be combined with any other special offers (e.g. the Taster session).