The organiser declutters herself

I know, I know: happy new year, make your resolutions. I have plenty of my own - and you may be surprised (or not, depending on how well you know me) to learn that they include some serious decluttering and organising of my own.

In this case, specifically, my wardrobe. As a result of fluctuating constantly across three dress sizes over most of my adult life, I've got three times as many clothes as I could possibly want. Things were crushed together; I was depressed by the presence of so much I couldn't wear; so I have spent a bit of the 'quiet time' between Christmas and New Year (with help from my darling husband) doing some serious weeding.

There is a pile to keep - clothes that I do not fit into at present - but we're not talking a need to lose three stone here, but a matter of a few pounds. There's the stuff for charity shop and for selling - in both cases, these have been a matter of finally accepting that even when I'm closer to the size I want to be, I will never again be the size that I was twenty years ago, and it's foolish to pretend otherwise (it wouldn't suit me, anyway!). And, given the panic that is induced by being dissatisfied with one's shape, there are a fair few items - mostly off bargain rails and charity shops - that come under the heading of "what the **** were you thinking when you bought this?"

The 'wear' pile has gone back in the wardrobes, with more room to hang neatly, and easier to see. The 'keep' pile - those clothes that I know I have a realistic chance of getting into again - are stored away ready for that day (which will come; I've done it before, I can do it again). The 'sell' pile is ready to take to a local 'good-as-new' shop - I haven't the time or energy to ebay them; and the charity shop will be restocked hugely in the new year.

You see, I am great at advising other people about this stuff, what it means, why we accumulate it, how they might be able to change these habits. Am I perfect myself? Far from it, as you can see. But then, you probably wouldn't want a paragon of perfection, never a hair (or a foot) out of place, helping you with your overload of 'stuff', would you? This is all about real life; it happens; and as long as we deal with it before it drowns us, and don't beat ourselves up for it, it's not the end of the world.

As it happens, I truly believe that this has been an educational process for me. One of my recent clients proudly showed me her wardrobe after she'd cleared out (without my help) a huge amount, and I was stunned by how much she'd managed to achieve. (We'd worked together in other areas of the house, other furniture usage and purchase, and from that process she'd 'got it' - and was able to progress further on her own. That's the way it should be.)

The point is, she was an inspiration for me. I looked at her newly cleared wardrobe - with the same delight as I'd surveyed her kitchen after we'd worked together to sort that out - and thought I want that for myself. I spend so much time concentrating on the help that I can give to others - practical, motivational, physical, inspirational - that I myself sometimes get left out of the equation. More than once I've come home having left a very happy client behind, and thought I really could use one of my own organising colleagues to help me...


Be that as it may: it's made a big difference to me. If you feel that you could benefit from a major clear-out - whether it be your wardrobe, desk, kitchen, garden shed, attic or whatever - but simply don't have the strength to do it alone: call me. Not only can I provide an extra pair of hands, ditto pair of eyes, motivation, ideas, suggestions - I've also been there myself. I know how it feels to let go of something to make room in your home, your heart or your head for something else. I know how it feels to look at the problem and feel you don't know where to start. That's why I can help you.

So - if your new year's resolution for 2012 is to 'get it sorted' - call me. And we'll get on that journey together.

Happy New Year!

Scan and save

As a keen photographer and confirmed geek, I take great delight in combining the two in various ways to preserve my favourite images. Photobooks, and the various related gifts and products one can create, are a wonderful way to preserve the best of your memories, and I'm very proud of some of the items I've made for theatre groups, friends and relations, clients and more. They make perfect gifts for all occasions - especially appropriate as we dive into our Christmas preparations.

I'm delighted to have had published today an article on this very subject. Please visit the splendid Fab After Fifty for more details... and reclaim your favourite memories!

(Oh, and if you'd like to see some examples of books I've made, you can see a few on my page at blurb.com here.)

Facebook: will you be my friend?

I'm seeing quite a few business colleagues who have normal 'personal' profiles being used as business pages. Apart from the fact that you run the risk of Facebook suspending your account if you do this, there are very specific benefits to doing things the 'right way'!

I accept people as 'friends' on my personal account because they are - guess what - friends. I know them personally. They might, indeed, be friends that I have met through my business activities, networking events and so forth, but I know them as individuals, and am happy to share with them the things that are personal to me. I don't expect to be a 'friend' of a business; I don't want a business to see my personal postings, nor to see theirs. I am interested to see what they post as a business. So I'm much happier 'liking' a business page than I am asking them to be my friend, if that's not what I am. (Asking somebody you've never actually met before to 'be my friend' feels too reminiscent of the playground for my taste!)

If you're a business, and feel that you need a Facebook page, but you really don't want to be visible on Facebook to your real-life friends, you can always create a Business profile. You won't use Facebook as a 'friend', but you simply have access to your Business page and all that goes with it.

However, if (like me) you have two faces on Facebook - your personal and your business side - you can simply create a business page and set yourself as the administrator. It gives you a head start on acquiring 'likes' for your page, as it's likely that many of your real 'friends' will support you in your business, or even have been on the receiving end of your services. If it's appropriate, you can post as your business and then share that post to the wider circle of your friends.

So, if you do have a presence on Facebook, but you're actually using it only to promote your business, I'd strongly recommend that you convert your profile. Facebook now has a tool to make this straightforward.

And if you need help, just let me know!

Chinese Whispers on Facebook

Another hoax springs up this morning, and one that is especially sad.

According to a posting doing the rounds on Facebook:

The Royal British Legion are not selling poppies in certain areas this year. This is because some minorities say that it will upset them. The poppy is a symbol of reverence for our fallen heroes of all the wars the BRITISH military have fought in. BRITAIN STAND UP AND SAY 'WE WANT THE POPPY SOLD EVERYWHERE IN THE UK'. THIS IS OUR RIGHT TO REVERE OUR FALLEN.. Copy and paste this if you think poppies should be sold everywhere... R.I.P fallen soldiers

If it were true, that would indeed be shocking. However, once again, this is a hoax. What's happened here is that one news story about poppy-selling (the problems relate to local council red tape and have nothing whatsoever to do with minorities of any kind) has been picked up and expanded into an excuse for anti-minorities propaganda. The very useful That's Nonsense site gives the story, and includes a link to the original report in The Telegraph.

If you can't be bothered to follow the links and read the full story, the truth is quite simple.

• Birmingham City Centre (like most places) limits the number of charities that can collect at any one time. 
• Two other charities (Shelter and the Anthony Nolan Trust), on this occasion, had got there first. 
• As a result of the outcry, those two charities have now given up their places to the poppy sellers.

Simple, isn't it? A bit of red tape to disentangle, some commonsense and sensitivity from other charities, and the whole thing is resolved. Not a dickie-bird about 'minorities' being upset. Yet this bit of crap is presently flying all over the social media networks in a frenzy of self-righteous indignation.

It's too easy to believe this sort of thing, and to get very upset about such stories... and the anger and indignation would be reasonable if they were true. The knee-jerk reaction is to repost, to cut-and-paste, to get this shocking message out as soon as possible.

Please don't. Please consider every posting - just for a few seconds - before you throw it into that great melting-pot of speculation, rumour, deliberate falsehood and manipulation of public opinion that is the internet. That is, by the way, the same internet that is also a source of inspiration, valuable information, sharing, generosity and the highlighting of genuine concerns.

It isn't hard to find out which of those categories the latest alarmist posting belongs to. Truly. Try it.

Facebook: whose postings can you see?

Oh, lovely. Another lot of tosh that's doing the rounds at the moment.

This one says:

"Facebook has changed its News Feed AGAIN, so that by default, you can only see updates from people with whom you've recently interacted. To change this, click on 'Account', then 'Edit friends' then at the top left, click "All Friends.""

NO. The Account > Edit Friends setting is simply to display the list of friends you want to see listed at that time. It's a way of conveniently filtering your contacts - helpful if you want to find somebody quickly (e.g. by group, recently added, recently interacted or whatever). It makes no difference to updates you see on your wall. You can prove this by going back to the setting after you have ostensibly changed it (go back to your wall, then back to the Account > Edit Friends setting again); you'll find that it still says the same as it did before.

To change the 'who you see postings from on your wall' setting, you need to click on where it says 'most recent' (as opposed to 'top news') on your front page; choose Edit Options from the drop-down list; and *there* you'll see the choice between 'all friends' and 'those you interact with the most'. That's the setting that will make a difference to what you see on your wall.

PLEASE - check these messages properly before reposting. This one is inaccurate, but I've seen it several times in the last few days.

***

I do get a bit uptight about these postings. It seems to be that they are most prolific when the users can scream 'FACEBOOK HAS DONE IT WRONG AGAIN'. Don't get me wrong - I completely agree that there have been many occasions when the default settings could potentially compromise privacy; when they've made yet another change to the interface without giving suitable guidelines; and much more. However, this sort of run-round-in-circles-screaming nonsense doesn't help anybody - especially when, as in this particular case, it's completely inaccurate and misleading. The funny thing is that the business about 'whose updates you see' is a genuine issue, and was correctly flagged up as such on postings a while back. Why on earth, then, do people feel the need to put up incorrect advice like this?

Like all other 'send this to all your friends' postings, I always beg, plead and request on bended knees: DON'T. At least, not until you've taken the trouble (and it truly doesn't take long) to establish the truth of it. If you're not sure of the verity of a posting - be it a virus warning, a setting on Facebook or whatever - then find somebody who will know. There are plenty of excellent sites - HoaxSlayer, FaceCrooks, Snopes and the rest - who will probably be able to help you out; and most of them have groups or pages on Facebook, so you can easily post a query there, and somebody will be able to help you.

Or find a passing friendly geek-queen. Like me. I don't bite.

Stuff and storage

One of my clients sent me a link she thought I might be interested in. Published on the BBC website, it expresses the concerns about the 'craze' for self-storage.

People are leaving their possessions in self-storage warehouses for longer than ever. But why are people paying to store stuff they rarely use? It's a monument to our acquisitive society - the brightly lit shed on the edge of town offering "storage solutions".

This rang lots of bells. I've written on this topic in this blog before, last April. Everything I said there still holds true: I still firmly believe that, used appropriately, storage options are a valid way of helping us to deal with 'stuff' - as long as it's with a realistic approach. When either the practical or the emotional considerations mean we need time and space - physical and mental - then this is a sensible option; when we simply don't have the room in our living quarters to accommodate items that we have valid reasons for keeping, renting storage space is no different from renting a garage to keep your car safe.

However, this article flags up very correctly the other side of the story - and the reason for it being an increasing pitfall in modern consumer society. My fellow apdo-uk member, Cory Cook, is quoted in the article:

"More and more stuff comes in and it's not going out. I want to say it's a throwout society, but it's not the case because people are keeping their things around."

Exactly so. We might be living in a recession, but that doesn't mean we are buying less 'stuff'. On the contrary: my observation of the 'stuff' that I help my clients to sort through is that we're more likely to buy more items of a lower value. It can give a lift out of the doldrums induced by dismal economic times, terrible summer weather and back-to-work blues: hey, look, I've got a new toy! And if that 'toy' - whether an electronic gadget, an item of clothing, a kitchen gizmo or a DVD - has been bought at a cheaper price than we might previously have afforded, it's often less likely to last than its slightly pricier alternative.

We all know the scenario in the wardrobe: given the choice, would you spend the same amount of money on one well-made, classy item, or on ten things from the sale rail? And before you ask, I'm as guilty of this sin as the next woman. The obvious result - after the adrenalin rush of I've got a new toy - is that, at a later date, the multiple items are not only more likely to be thrown away (how many of your favourite clothes came from the sale rail?) but there are more of them to be disposed of - when you eventually get round to it.

The matter of whether we store unneeded things or not is a worry; the roots of why this kind of storage is necessary at all is a far greater cause for concern. It's usually because we've bought it in the first place... and we are slaughtered with guilt about how much stuff we have. If we do manage to get rid of it, it feels like a waste. "I couldn't possibly throw that away - it cost me good money." Disposing of the item is like admitting that we got it wrong in the first place.

It's also true to say that there is a lot of association with our identities: we are, often, our stuff. In the same article, this valuable observation is made by Oliver James, author of the superbly-named Affluenza:

Our identity has increasingly become associated with products, and not just the mortgage and the car, but smaller items. "We've confused who we are with what we have," he says. It explains why we're so reluctant to throw things away. "We feel it might come in handy one day. It feels like it's a little part of yourself even though it's just tat. You wouldn't want to throw yourself away, would you?"

This isn't a new scenario. During a recent holiday in France, I visited an eighteenth-century château, complete with the authentic furnishings, décor and bric-a-brac of that era. The Victorians were just as bad: their homes were full of clutter and dust-traps. However, these indulgences were the province of the wealthy. Now, with the help of the high street and the pound-shop, we can all surround ourselves with 'stuff'. And we do.

So: how do we deal with it?

• We accept the purchasing mistakes we've made in the past, and put it down to experience
• We pass on the stuff we really no longer need (or, in some cases, even like) to benefit somebody else - and refrain from fretting about the money we paid out for it
• We use the learning when we next shop for something - and we shop mindfully, not emotionally
• We take a long hard look at the space we are paying for - whether it's in the context of the house we're renting or mortgaged for, or external space - and ask ourselves whether it's genuinely worth it

We might not get it right all the time. I certainly don't.

But it's well worth a try.

A secure session on Facebook?

Here's another Facebook frightener that is doing the rounds again.

"Apparently Facebook has changed and said nothing (again). Take a look at your URL (top box on your screen.) If you see "http" or just "www" instead of "https" you DO NOT have a secure session & can be hacked. Go to Account Settings - Click Security on the left top corner - click Edit, Check box (secure browsing), click Save. FB has automatically set it on the non-secure setting! Do everyone a huge favour, copy & re-post."

Here we go again. For a start, Facebook has not 'changed and said nothing' - the inference here is that it was previously secure and it isn't now. In fact, it's the other way round: Facebook introduced the ability to have a secure connection (https) as an additional feature in early January 2011. Before that time, all Facebook browsing was http (non-secure) and there was no choice in the matter. This useful article on Mashable gives the full story.

NB: If you do choose to use an https setting (as explained in the Facebook help pages here) there are some applications that will not work (for example, I can't play my favourite word game of Lexulous on this setting).

More to the point, do you need the secure browsing setting? It does (as the Mashable article explains) protect you from hacking in an unprotected environment: "Without it you’re exposed to sniffing attacks on the network; for example, if you’re using a public Wi-Fi to access Facebook via plain HTTP, someone using the Firesheep add-on for Firefox can easily retrieve your data. HTTPS makes it a lot harder to do that." However, if you're sitting at home, using your own password-protected wifi network, this is not the case.

I'm not saying that you should be cavalier about your security settings - far from it. There are plenty of hazards lurking on Facebook (and in many other places on the internet) - hoaxes, phishing attacks, malware and much more - and we all need to be clued up about them. However, this means that misleading and sensationalist postings can (in the manner of the 'boy who cried wolf') deflect our attention from the genuinely dangerous stuff. It's much important that you realise what these settings really mean - rather than perpetuating the myth that 'Facebook does everything wrong', 'they never tell us anything' and the rest.

Please, please - before copying and pasting these warning messages, take just a minute or two to have a proper look at the facts. Type the phrase into Google, look in the Facebook Help section, or ask a passing geek. Then make your decisions based on facts, rather than on a game of Chinese Whispers.

It would, by the way, be far more accurate to post:

"Facebook has implemented a new security measure, which you can take advantage of if you want to. Take a look at your URL (top box on your screen.) If you see "http" or just "www" instead of "https" you do not have a secure session, and it's possible that you may be hacked [but only if you are using an unsecured public network; this doesn't apply if you are using a password-protected private network]. Visit the FB help page for more information here: http://www.facebook.com/help/?faq=215897678434749. Please note: FB has automatically set it on the non-secure setting, as many applications do not work on the HTTPS setting, but you can change it if you wish."

You wouldn't try to drive a car without understanding the rules of the road; you wouldn't base your navigation, speed or behaviour on hearsay, rumour, part-truth and guesswork. Why should using your computer be any different?

UPDATE: Here's another useful link with more information on this situation. Of especial interest is the highlighting of the fact that "it is important not to be lulled into a false sense of security under the assumption that you are safe from attacks because you have opted for the HTTPS option, because in reality this option makes no change in the risks involved whilst using the social networking site."